To the Business Secretary:
For Clarity - Attempt 459.
459) Nicky Morgan - A Modern Day, "Wrecker."
Dear Mr Javid,
Nicky Morgan should be given a small part in the next series of Poldark.
We picture her hooded figure, silhouetted atop a tall Cornish cliff, gale blowing as she holds a lamp outstretched luring those safely at sea onto the treacherous rocks below.
Mrs "Nanny" Morgan knows best - ignoramus, studious ignorer of the evidence, non-teacher who lectures teachers' unions on being, "positive," a woman with no reverse gear, driven solely by a fanatical ideology that reduces education to the role of compliant and unquestioning servant of, "business-like" rigged capitalism.
It would seem that neither Sir Andrew Dilnot, Chair of the Statistical Authority nor Simon Lebus, CE Cambridge Assessment, mark her performance very highly. "Could do better," "needs to start thinking for herself" and "easily led." The latter believing she is poorly advised and "trying to rig the race." The former suggesting she should reconsider her misreading of statistical evidence and subsequent misleading remarks to Parliament over Labour's record on education when in office.
"Trying to rig the race."
Quite clearly, time spent at the Department for Business, Innovation and Skills (BIS) has had a detrimental and corrosive effect on her moral and intellectual development.
When the statistical evidence totally contradicts your predetermined prejudices what does the Education Minister do? She ignores the evidence and carries on because she, "has no reverse gear." Not very intelligent for an expensively and privately educated Oxford graduate.
Q. Rigging the market and misleading Parliament - where have we heard that before?
A. The RICS and its failure to adequately regulate its members and (Un)regulated Firms and its lobbying of Vince Cable to "fix" the lettings market but leave the rigged surveying market well alone. And he did.
The lure this time?
The con this time according to Mrs Morgan is that education must be, "business-like." And to be business-like she doesn't want any troublesome parents poking their noses into places where parents' noses are most definitely not wanted - like questioning rigged statistics on performance for instance, thought leaders being tipped off about Ofsted inspections or whether there's a fair and transparent tendering process being operated by the academy their child is forced to attend.
In short, a "business-like" rigging of performance, inspections and the tendering process
In The Brave New World of academies there will be no transparency or accountability just chief executives lining their pockets. Thought leaders have decided that they are extremely expensive to employ and whilst they busily tear up national pay scales and conditions of employment, their staff will, as a result of their leaders' business-like acumen, become far cheaper to hire an far easier to fire.
Mrs Morgan would appear to be modelling this insanity on the so-called, "civil justice" being meted out by the maladministrators at Ombudsman Services. No doubt her bad habits were picked up loitering at the back of the BIS.
Ombudsman Services' executives like nothing more than talking the talk about just how business-like they are. It is the one thing they are genuinely world-class at. How they endlessly beaver away making sure they, "spend their Members money wisely" and, "add real value to their business practices."
Their lure to a public all at sea?
A government sanctioned promise to handle complaints, "fairly," "speedily" and "independently."
The Rev. Lewis Shand Smith, company CEO and Chief Ombudsman, extolls the virtues of his, "superb business model" where maladministered decisions have become, "our product." He apparently, even holds back slapping parties to celebrate just how clever he and his team are at maladministering the consumers' complaints they (mis)handle with seeming impunity.
This is, "business-like." It gets results - for the paymasters.
Just how ethical the business-like Rev Smith is should be the subject of a public inquiry and not simply left to The Rev and his Maker.
Just like academies of the future, no one knows what on earth is going on at this particular academy for civil justice because DJS Research lost the contract to conduct Customer Satisfaction Reports. What we do know - thanks to their diligence - is that in the past customers were very dissatisfied. Nowadays no-one has the faintest idea what consumers think of their customer journey because The Rev Smith no longer bothers to ask them. When the statistics say your company's performance is abysmal simply get rid of those responsible for gathering them.
That's very, "business-like" indeed.
"Superb" is not a word we would use to describe ombudsmen arriving at decisions in an illogical manner. "Shite" perhaps.
Ombudsman Services is a modern day example of piss-poor governance and a shocking indictment of "civil justice" left in the hands of unaccountable clerics like The Rev. Smith.
If Mrs Morgan gets her way no-one will ever know what goes on in academies either - its her vision-for-the-future. Overpaid executives will be able dispose of taxpayers' money as and how they please. Whatever statistical evidence gets gathered will not be made available for public scrutiny. Parents won't have the right to be involved in the running of the schools they're being forced to send their children to. Children will be taught not to ask questions.
Instead they will be taught to love business-like, "Big Society."
Q. Mr Javid, isn't the vehicle Mrs Morgan's driving un-roadworthy as it has no reverse gear? Shouldn't she now be breathalysed and banned from working at the Department of Education?
She could get a real job and try teaching as a next career - put her use of taxpayers' money where her mouth is. See how long she remains, "positive" - we'd give her to break-time on the first day.
Wouldn't be fair on the kids though.
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